Not so Happy Holidays

Christmas is supposed to be a happy and joyful time of year....but it isn't for everyone. My heart has just been hurting for all of those who are carrying around grief and pain this Christmas. I feel like I have been surrounded by stories of illness, pain, loss, death, and hurt this holiday season, and it breaks my heart. I cannot imagine what some are going through as they question the timing and purpose of these things in their lives. I woke up this morning with a poem God placed on my heart. I normally don't like poetry and I definitely never write it. My prayer is that God will use these words He has given me to spring hope in someone who may not be having the best Christmas this year or maybe just remind someone of God's purpose for this season. I hope you enjoy.


Christmas Baby

This time of year should be filled with cheer,

But I cannot seem to find it here.

How long will these constant tears last,

As I think on all the good times past?

Comforting words don’t mean so much,

And neither does a tender touch.

When I feel so much sorrow, pain, and grief,

Tell me this ache will just be brief..

Is it time to wake up yet,

From this nightmare that leaves me in a sweat.

My stomach is in a thousand knots;

I need something to distract my thoughts.

Sometimes I wonder if somehow, maybe,

I should think more about this Christmas baby.

If this baby came to save me from this hurt,

Why does this pain keep me so alert?

Did he come to bring this sorrow to me;

No, he loves me too much, why can’t I see?

My God is not putting me through this time,

For His character says he is much too kind.

He came to save me from this pain,

And give me life of eternal gain.

My God, my God, you bring me hope,

And I know I will not forever mope.

When I fix my eyes on you this season,

I choose not to forget your reason.

My purpose is to bring you glory,

That makes this time a much better story.

Thank you, Jesus, for your overwhelming peace,

That cannot be stolen from the thief.

Even though this time is hard

I choose this Christmas baby to be my guard.

Willingness

Has there ever been a time in your life that God has placed a word or phrase on your heart? It may be something you have heard a million times in your life, but He keeps whispering it in your ear in a certain season.

For me lately, God has been whispering the phrase 'willingness to be used by God' to me. God's whispers can be easy to ignore at times, but this one I decided was something I wanted to figure out. What about my willingness or unwillingness to be used by God is so important in my life right at this moment?

This has brought me to a time of reflection on my life, questioning my present, and pondering on my future. How have I been willing to be used by God in my past? Is that why I am where I am today or am I still on my own agenda? What am I doing right now? Am I available to whatever God calls me to do each and everyday? What about my future? Do I have it so planned out that I have left no room to be willing to do anything outside of my plan?

This makes me think of Paul. He was a pretty awesome dude. He didn't start out that way, but God transformed his heart and used him in a mighty way. I feel like Paul was a guy that was willing to be used by God in any way that God called him. Paul was willing to go to jail and be killed for the sake of Christ. I would definitely call him a willing man.

What about Abraham? That man was willing to kill his son that God had promised him and that he had waited for. Why? Because God told him to.

Job? That dude went through some mess. He was willing to do go through all of the trials that were put in his life because he knew that the only important thing was that God was still the Lord of His life.

I think Mary is a pretty good example of a woman willing to be used by God. She gave up her reputation, relationships, status, and life to give birth to Jesus. (S/o to Mary. Thanks!) I am sure she didn't look back on her willingness and regret it. 

These may seem like drastic examples, but sometimes God calls us to do crazy things that do not make sense in our lives. I am sure many of you can think back on a time of confusion, where you didn't understand why God was asking you to do a certain thing, but now you see His faithful plan. I know this has happened to me.

I think that as we learn to submit to God and be willing to do whatever little or big thing He wants in our lives, we will also learn more about God's faithfulness.

The question I ask myself today is am I willing? Am I willing to drastic things, or weird things, or simple things for my God? Is my heart ready? Am I living in a state of readiness to do whatever God asks of me?

I still don't know exactly why God continues to whisper for me to be willing to be used by Him. Maybe He is about to call me to something extreme, or maybe He just wanted me to write this blog. All I know is that I will choose to trust Him.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have." -2 Corinthians 8:12

Count Your Blessings

"Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done,
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."

Don't ya love old hymns? I do. The words are often so simple and true like in this simple hymn.

Lately, I have been catching myself feeling overwhelmingly blessed. I'm not going to lie. My life is pretty good! I definitely have my trials and hard times, but it all seems to be overshadowed by all of the blessings God has given to me. Or maybe I have just chosen a different focus.

I think about the people in my life. I have the best family in the world; that can't be argued. My parents are amazing role models in everything from their spiritual walks to their day-today lives. I can come to them with anything and I know they always have my back. My siblings aren't so bad either. My sisters are two of my best friends and I could not be more happy to be living in the same city as both of them (for the first time in 10 years)! My bubba is one of the most caring people I know who wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was to protect one of his sisters. Told ya, best family award goes to me!

It seems that wherever God puts me in my life, that He has continually blessed me with wonderful friends and support. I am very much a people person and I strongly believe in the power of encouragement, as I wrote in a blog a while ago. I wouldn't be where I am or be doing all that God has me doing right now if it weren't for the constant encouragement of the people around me.

As I have started this new journey to New Orleans, it has been so difficult not being with my constant support system of family and friends. Yet not a day goes by that I don't hear from so many friends and my family as well.

My life in New Orleans so far has been more than I could have ever dreamed of. The transition in to my new job is still going smoothly. I have met such wonderful people here already. And the Friendship House is just a heap of blessing.

So why? Why am I so blessed? I hope you weren't looking for a deep, theological explanation because I am a pretty simple person. Why has God chosen to bless me? Because He loves me. It is still hard for me to comprehend at times. That God loves me so much that not only would He give me this wonderful life with all of these wonderful things going on, but that He would think of me 2000 years ago when He sent His son to die so that I can be with Him forever. Not for me, but for His glory. Now that is what I call a blessing.

So now I remind you to count your blessings. Think of the positive instead of the negative. Think of the good things in life instead of the bad. Think about what God has done instead of the things you want Him to do. At times it is so much easier to count your misfortunes, but these are the times I encourage you to count your blessings. God has done so much for us and He deserves our praise.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" -Philippians 4:19

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because of this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." -1 Peter 3:9

"He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation." Psalm 24:5

New City, New Adventure

I am definitely one who loves an adventure, but I don't think I had any idea what an adventure I would be getting myself into when I decided to move to the city. And it's not just any city...it is the wonderful city of New Orleans. You may have your own opinion of this city, but, yes, I do think it is quite wonderful. And now I call it home.

If someone had asked me two years ago what I would be doing two years from then, I would have said looking for a job teaching math to high schoolers. It is weird to think back on that time when that was MY plan. Little did I know that God had such a different plan. And now, just two short years later, I find myself in my little apartment on seminary campus in the wonderful city of New Orleans.

I have only been here a week, but what a week it has been. I started volunteering at the Baptist Friendship House. I don't think I knew what I was getting into when I signed up to spend my summer volunteering there, but it has already been the biggest blessing in my life. The BFH ministers mainly to homeless women and children. They are also working to help stop human trafficking, which I will get to help out with this summer. I am very excited about this because, as many know, I feel the Lord directing me to work in this field.

I got to see the work the BFH does with homeless women first hand the other day as homeless women came in to shower and find donated clothes. God opened my eyes tremendously that day. Each woman who walked through those doors had a story. I got to sit down with one woman and talk with her, and it was such a blessing. One of the most humbling moments was when that woman offered me some of the little food she had. There are not words to describe how that made me look at things from a different perspective. By the time I left that day, I thought I had seen it all, although I know there is plenty more to come. My heart was broken into a million little pieces, but that is exactly what we need sometimes. To think that after I left I went home to my nice cool apartment with all of my security and worldly possessions after hearing about a woman who got her backpack stolen that contained literally everything she owned. To think that I went to sleep that night in my nice warm bed after hearing a woman saying that she hoped she would be able to find a porch to sleep on that would protect her from the rain that night. To think that the next morning I tried on several different outfits to decide what to wear that day when I saw a countless number of women come in searching for a new pair of clothes so that they could change out of the clothes they had been wearing for days. If seeing that first hand doesn't give you a heart check, I don't know what will.

So what now? We love. Yes, we must step out of our comfortable bubble and help these people in every way possible, but we must do it with Christ's love. 1 Corinthians 13:^3 says "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." I say 'these people' very loosely, because who are these people. I am not just talking about the homeless. The bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. Well these homeless people are my neighbors now in my new city. But who are your neighbors? Who is God calling you to reach out and give a little extra love to? 


Christians are often called the most judgmental people sometimes. Why? Because it is true. I think it is time that we get back to the basics. Each person, including the women I was working with the other day, God made. Each person is part of God's masterpiece. Each person is created by our loving God. When we can think about that with each person that we meet, instead of condemnation and judgement, that is when the world is going to start to change. And not because of us. Because we open up our hearts and allow the God to change our world. 

Who defines the desires of your heart?

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

I have heard this verse a lot lately for various reasons and it made me think. Thinking can be a dangerous thing for me. It either leads to vigorous journaling or an attempt to start my blog back up. I guess it was the latter this time. Hopefully this won't be a one time deal and I will post more often. Back to the verse.

This verse is probably one of the most favorite verses of Christians. It gives us hope. But I think that sometimes it gives us the wrong hope. For most of us, it gives us hope that if we love the Lord and "delight" ourselves in Him that we will get whatever we want. Our dreams of perfect career, family, love, etc. can finally come true if we just find our joy in the Lord. It seems so simple, yet difficult at the same time. But in the end it is completely worth it, right?

But have you ever thought about how this verse could be less about God showering us with blessings, and more about His glory being shown in our lives? I know this is kind of convicting. It is for me now, and it was the first time I thought of it this way.

God tells us to take delight in Him. What does this mean? Well, to me this means that all of our joy comes from the Lord and from serving Him. The more and more I discover God's character and how to find my joy in Him, the more I delight in Him. But also my world begins to revolve around Him. If we are delighting ourselves in the Lord, then our lives will revolve around Christ.

But then God says that He will give us the desires of our heart. If we are delighting ourselves in the Lord, what are the desires of our heart? I think that the blessings we once dreamed about like the perfect career, family, love, etc. are so tiny. They are selfish and all about us. If our focus is Christ, these things don't matter. The only thing we thirst for is Christ. We only want to bring Him glory in all that we do. The desire to find a person to love or work the best job out there is no longer a desire, but a distant thought. Our new found desire is Christ, and things of Christ.

So what are your desires? Are they glorifying to God, or to yourself? Are they something that you want or something that God wants? If your desires are of God and you are delighting yourself in Him, then He absolutely wants to give you those desires.

This is just a little food for thought. I know this is convicting for me, so I hope it helps you as well. And hopefully there will be more blogs to come.

Ellen Nugent
Proverbs 3:5-6